Chapter 5

Anax woke her up in the morning as usual. No need for an alarm clock. Virginia threw on her robe and a pair of slippers, snapped the leash on the dog and took her out the front door. This was not a walk, as they both knew. It was just a pit stop, and Anax obediently came back up the steps as soon as she had sniffed a few leaves, selected her spot, and squatted.

There was an email answer from Steve. “How did she get the name Anax? Does she get along with other dogs?”

She quickly hit Reply. “Anax is the genus of dragonflies. She’s friendly with people, children, and dogs her own size or smaller.” This was a test of sorts. Did he have a sense of humor? Would he even pick up on the remark about children? or maybe be offended by the idea they weren’t human?

The reply came after breakfast. “Oh, I get it. She’s a little dragonfly.”

Virginia answered, “Actually, no. She’s darn big for a dragonfly.” She was beginning to think this Steve guy didn’t have much of a vocabulary. He couldn’t seem to form a sentence without using the word “get.”

It was time to take Anax on her first walk. Once around the little park took about 20 minutes at her relaxed pace. Today she was planning to drive up to Red Rocks to take a few pictures. She knew Anax would have loved to come along, but it was too hard to juggle the camera and the leash at the same time. For the first time it occurred to her to wonder if her double vision could somehow be registered on camera. Of course it was an utterly ridiculous idea. The camera itself had only one eye. But she had watched Matt take pictures of interesting light patterns more than once. He had wondered aloud whether the camera would reproduce the rainbow arc the sun had conjured out of a slim waterfall. “Well, we see it,” he said, as he unslung the camera from his shoulder. Sure enough, the picture came out.

A quick check of the email revealed yet another message from Steve. “Want to get together?” Here we go again, she thought. While it’s possible the word get is the most versatile in the English language, there are lots of other ways to make your point. She would have to find out from Ginny if this was one of those unwritten rules of internet dating that she hadn’t encountered before. Use the most limited number of words possible to communicate. Disguise as much as you can any ability you may have to tame language and make it bend to your will. Never let slip any clue to the actual number of words at your command. Keep ’em guessing.

Was she underestimating this Steve? Was it fair to judge someone based on a few words they pecked out hastily on their phone at a time of day when they might or might not be at their best and brightest? For that matter, just how important was it to use four-syllable words at every opportunity? Perhaps this was not only conscious but planned on his part to avoid scaring off any low IQ prospects who had other strong points (such as big tits).

No, she decided, it wasn’t too much to ask that a guy display an interest in art and language. However, it was definitely going too far to reject them based on a disregard for style in their every scribble. Nice image, she thought, picturing the current sloppy use of fingers on phone as an archaic writing instrument on perishable paper.

She picked up her own phone and typed in the reply: “Let’s talk first.” She gave him her phone number.

The phone dinged with a text. “Got time now?”

This isn’t possible, she thought. He’s got to be doing it on purpose. And now he’s got me doing it! Never before had the English language appeared to her to be so impoverished. Although she supposed there might be a way to turn it into a point of pride. Learn English! One word says it all! She wrote back, “Just getting ready for the day. Got up a little late. Can’t seem to get going. I’ll get back to you.” So there! Two can play this game.

Then she decided to take a quick look at her finances. She opened the laptop and brought up the website of her bank in Minneapolis, then the spreadsheet she used to compare her figures with the bank’s. Just as she was beginning make sure everything added up properly, the phone rang. She didn’t recognize the number, but it had the same area code as Amanda’s, so she answered.

“Hi, this is Steve.” He sounded—what was the best word? Energetic.

“Oh, hi. How’s Shelly today?” She tried to put a smile in her voice.

“Champing at the bit. She thinks the closer she sits to her leash, the sooner she can get me out the door.”

”Yeah, Anax gets that way. Especially when we’re away from home, and we haven’t set up a new pattern yet that she can count on.”

“So you don’t live in the Denver area?” He didn’t sound exactly accusatory, more like disappointed. But he must be wondering if she had lied on her profile.

“Well we do now. I just signed a lease yesterday. Right now we’re staying with my daughter and her kids.”

“Oh good.” The relief in his voice was palpable. “You get to spend time with the grandkids. Shelly is dying to meet Anax. Is that how you say her name?”

“That’s how I say it. As if her first name were Anne, and her last name Axe. I don’t know if that’s what the biologists say.”

“You moved here because of your daughter?”

“That’s right. She’s divorced and has two kids. I picked Thursday as my date day because neither one of the kids is home or needs a ride anywhere that day. Does that work for you?”

“What about this weekend?”

“I could check with them. But if it ends up we have to wait, we can always talk again. I like a little fore-talk.”

Steve laughed easily. “You’re right. So tell me your entire history in one hundred words or less.”

“No way. You’re going to have to sit through the long version. But I’ll give you the same courtesy.”

“Gotcha. Have you got it memorized?”

“You know, don’t think this is a criticism, but have you ever noticed how often people use the word get in practically every sentence? It really makes you wonder.”

“No I haven’t noticed. I’ll have to pay more attention. Does it bother you?”

“It’s just so noticeable. Once you start picking up on it you can’t stop. You get to thinking that if it were banned, all conversation would come to a halt.”

“I see what you mean. Let’s keep track. You just used it once.”

“Well, don’t think I’ll ever catch up with you. You’ve already used it five times in your texts and four times since we started talking.” Had she gone too far? Was he sensitive about his use of language? Would he get all hurt?

“That does sound like a little too much. How about if we both try to avoid it? An imaginary buzzer will go off every time we use the word, and we’ll have to reformulate the sentence. Sound like fun?”

Well! This was a surprise! He was willing to turn it into a game. Okay, Steve, she thought. You get an A on our first talk. I’m going to reward you by suggesting we move on to a second talk.